Top Secret Apple Review
"A Dead-End Conspiracy Theory"
58
Barely Worth It
Not much is known about this mystery apple still being concocted in upstate New York by the likely Illuminati backed powers-that-be at the Honeycrisp Orchards. Pivotal information such as lineage, robustness, and breeding are being held under strict lock and key leaving the unworthy masses of sheeple in the dark about this fruity enigma. Unfortunately, this is one secret that may be best kept under wraps. Extremely juicy, yes, but with lizard skin worthy of a Reptilian shape-shifter and a taste as unpleasant as a conversation with Alex Jones this apple should be ignored like an unhinged post on 4Chan.
Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
2/5
★★★★★ 2/5
TARTNESS
2/5
★★★★★ 2/5
INTENSITY
2/5
★★★★★ 2/5
TOP SECRET APPLE BIO
PARENTAGE
???
ORIGIN
Marlboro, New York
YEAR
Not Yet Released
AVAILABILITY
???
BEST USES
Munching
OTHER NAMES
Name Change Forthcoming
So how did you manage to get your hands on this? 😉
Winky face indeed
Ordered them from http://www.Honeycrisp.com 🙂
Are any German brands available in the U S?
Have you heard anything about WA 64? It sounds promising. I entered the naming contest just hoping to get the sampler prize!
I picked up a bag of “unnamed test apples” at a local store today. The produce manager said the grower wanted an unbiased opinion. I’m kind of wondering whether they might have shipped some out to test the waters…although I’m surprised anyone would do so in MAY (WA state here). Whatever it is must store will because the texture is still decent – good crunch, moderate hardness, low-moderate juice. However, I suspect it was picked a bit early because it’s decidedly sour, without the sugar to balance a good tart variety (or much of any other flavor for that matter). If it’s a new variety it would make sense that they don’t have the timing down yet. Not sure the appearance matches 64 though – they’re on the small side and very red; not quite as deep as most Cosmic Crisp, but maybe like lighter specimens.
Is there anything else you know of that might be in early store trials that fits this description?
(P. S. you need an email contact, or at least an option to be notified of replies!)
Hiiiii. I LOVE!!!! secrets! Consider my identity, top secret… heh…. just like this apple, my husbands FAVOURITE apple. Love ya wit!