Macoun Apple Review

"The One-Night Stand"

Barely Worth It
Macoun Apple

The Macoun Apple (pronounced “Mc-cow-an” after Canadian horticulturist W.T. McCown – not “Mc-Coon”, which is basically a racial slur wrapped in a Happy Meal) is a fragile, purplish himbo that will blow you away for one magical night of ecstasy before dissipating into a slush-ball of regret the moment the sun comes up.

Developed in 1920s Upstate New York, this gaslighting flirt deceptively charms the unsuspecting and lonesome with its ultra-thin skin, complex berry-like flavor and solid crunch present when picked at peak freshness directly from a tree. But like a booty call that decides to stay for breakfast, any flicker of a notion at a long-term relationship is quickly dashed as this actually quite disgusting dirtbag turns into a mealy, tasteless flesh-sack within days of being brought home. And after two weeks…you are dealing with nothing but a repulsive bag of ass rooting around your fridge as you get ready for work.

Branding / Consistency




Red Apple Icon



Red Apple Icon



Red Apple Icon


McIntosh x Jersey Black


Geneva, NY




Two Weeks In Fall


Munching, Pies

12 thoughts on “Macoun Apple Review”

  1. You know, the moment I saw this review, I was highly offended. I’ve always touted Macouns as the best apple I’ve ever eaten, the apple to top all others. How could someone possibly think it’s only mediocre????

    Then, I read your review.

    See, I’ve only ever eaten Macouns I picked fresh from an orchard. You might actually have a point.

  2. I looooove Macouns! But yeah, they’re in season for about a day and have to be eaten pretty much straight from the tree.

  3. I love macouns(of course my dad called them mcoons). I also pick them fresh from the orchard. I do find that if I refrigerate them that they remain tolerable for a week and then loose crispiness and sweetness.

  4. I tried a bag of Macouns. The flavor was ok, but there might have been something missing. And yes, after maybe 10 days in the fridge, they started to go bad.

  5. TBF most heirlooms don’t have any holding ability to speak of, because in the past apples weren’t expected to be available in stores across the country year round. You either ate them immediately or preserved them, so shelf life wasn’t a consideration. It is relevant now but I think that should be a separate category. Retailers also need to be aware of it and apples like this should only be sold during their brief peak, preferably at locations within a day of the orchard. Comparing them to modern hybrids bred for longevity after months in storage is bound to be an unpleasant experience.

  6. This review while accurate to some degree is as tasteless as an overripe Macoun . The racial slur comment is nonsensical , and is in itself racist. Get a new reviewer .

  7. Summer Gotschall

    This review is salty but funny, bc not wrong on the horrifying short-livedness of Macoun apples; left out of the refrigerator they not only quickly lose crispness, but will actually go bad (moldy inside) in 4 or 5 days (at least here in GA). But we all have refrigerators, and if you find some just put them in the crisper drawer and eat them real quick. As to availability – the one place I know of that carries them has them pretty much all winter. Finally, the praise of a fresh Macoun is far too faint. Idk about other people but to me it smells and tastes faintly of a fragrant rose. I wait for them all year!

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