Aura Apple Review
"The Reiki Apple"
73
Pretty Good
A fairylike wisp of an apple, the Aura truly lives up to its name, barely registering in our plane of existence while simultaneously containing the multitudes of the universe within its shimmering form. Each rejuvenating bite of this crackling orb invites you to manifest your own flavor experience. Was that vanilla? Was that honey? Was that a spicy kick? Or is this a New Age root chakra scam-fruit that sincerely tastes like nothing? This apple raises a profound philosophical question: Is the absence of flavor actually the most flavorful thing of all? Deep.
Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding / CONSISTENCY
Cost / Availability
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
1/5
★★★★★ 1/5
TARTNESS
0/5
★★★★★ 0/5
INTENSITY
0.5/5
★★★★★ 0.5/5
AURA APPLE BIO
PARENTAGE
Honeycrisp x Aurora Golden Gala
ORIGIN
Washington State, USA
YEAR
2023
AVAILABILITY
Winter
BEST USES
Well, you nailed this one. It is profoundly mediocre. All the right components to make a great apple are present, but at 30% strength – it’s as if someone turned the volume knob down, then broke it off. The first hint of flavor as you bite in dissipates into watery nothingness. Reminds me of the commercial Asian pear varieties that are just crunchy water. I don’t hate it because nothing about it can evoke such a strong feeling – just ambivalence. I can’t imagine who thought this one was worthy of commercial approval.