japan

Green Dragon Apple Review

"A Disenchanting Legend"

59
Barely Worth It
Green Dragon Apple

A mythical Japanese heirloom from the 1920s, this smallish, freckly, green beast has been reborn in the modern-day Pacific Northwest and masterfully re-branded by apple alchemists as the mighty Green DragonTM. But despite finding success as an Asian export, the days of yore when dragons ruled the Earth shall not be relived. For any that dare venture into the depths of the Green Dragon’s lair may be rewarded by a treasure-trove of flavor complexities but will be quickly punished by a bruise resistant dragon-scale skin that will cut into your throat like the blade of Excalibur. With each bite, any initial juicy burst dissipates instantaneously as if met by white-hot dragon-fire as the saccharine sweetness, only matched by a maiden’s embrace, fades into the realm of forgotten lore. Alas, this dragon is not the staggering legend the packaging portends. And, thus, those galant souls who brought this underwhelming monster back into the fold are, sadly, unworthy of a knighthood.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding / CONSISTENCY
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

3/5

Red Apple Icon
3/5

TARTNESS

0/5

Red Apple Icon
0/5

INTENSITY

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5
GREEN DRAGON BIO

PARENTAGE

Golden Delicious x Indo

ORIGIN

Japan

YEAR

1920s

AVAILABILITY

Late Fall – Early Winter

BEST USES

Munching

OTHER NAMES

Washu 1984

Kiku Apple Review

"A Fuji In Disguise"

42
Horse Food
Kiku Apple

Buyer beware! This exclusive Italian club apple is nothing more than a Fuji off-shoot rebranded as an undiscovered Pokemon. Known as a “sport” apple, the Kiku is a variant of its Fuji parent found growing on the same tree – only slightly redder and larger. But, make no mistake, this is not the evolutionary Blastoise to the Fuji’s Squirtle. In fact, a Kiku is nearly indistinguishable from a Fuji aside from its increased cost, decreased availability, and being named after a Japanese anime girl’s sneeze.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

TARTNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

INTENSITY

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5
KIKU APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Fuji Sport

ORIGIN

Japan / Italy

YEAR

2010

AVAILABILITY

Late Winter – Spring

BEST USES

Applesauce

OTHER NAMES

Fuji

Mutsu (Crispin) Apple Review

"The Rich Man's Jalopy"

55
Barely Worth It
Mutsu Apple

Like a poorly designed car that is suped up with all the latest features but breaks down after three years, the Japanese Mutsu Apple (also known as Crispin in the US/UK) fails under the weight of its own overreaching reputation. Known as “The Million Dollar Apple” this rich man’s jalopy comes in three sexy colors based on sunlight exposure: the yellow-green Sun Mutsu, the bright red Red Mutsu, and the rare pale Silver Mutsu. Unfortunately, with a mild splash of flavor, waxy skin, and grainy flesh, this apple simply can’t be trusted to get you to work on time.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

TARTNESS

1.5/5

Red Apple Icon
1.5/5

INTENSITY

1.5/5

Red Apple Icon
1.5/5
MUTSU APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Golden Delicious x Indo

ORIGIN

Japan

YEAR

1949

AVAILABILITY

Late Fall – Spring

BEST USES

Dessert Baking, Munching

OTHER NAMES

Crispin, Red Mutsu,

Silver Mutsu, Sun Mutsu

Fuji Apple Review

"The Japanese Pop Star"

56
Barely Worth It
Fuji Apple

Yet another demon spawn of the Red Delicious (crossed with a Ralls Janet) this gravelly choking hazard named after Fujisaki City, Japan is a J-Pop Star of an apple fit with a ravenous fanbase that many Americans will find difficult to understand. Personally, it is beyond comprehension how this super-hard medieval weapon masquerading as a fruit could become the most popular apple in Japan (and a top 5 apple worldwide). Aside from a semi-sweet initial bite, this mushy, rough-skinned, experiment gone awry is a baffling oddity with a sword-like stem so sharp it will – quite literally –  stab other apples in transit. Despite this, the Fuji fandom is real, uncompromising, and dedicated. A Fuji is not for everyone but, if it’s for you, it just may be your favorite apple. 

UPDATE 2023: Still truly baffled how many feel this is their favorite apple. However, I have not had the chance to try a Fuji straight from Japan where I hear they may be better. That being said, I have had better Fujis in my re-testing. +3 Taste, -1 Juiciness, +2 Cost/Availability. TOTAL SCORE: 48 -> 56 (Horse Food -> Barely Worth It).

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding / Consistency
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

TARTNESS

0/5

Red Apple Icon
0/5

INTENSITY

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5
FUJI APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Red Delicious x Ralls Janet

ORIGIN

Japan

YEAR

1962

AVAILABILITY

Early Winter – Spring

BEST USES

Munching