Ludacrisp Apple Review
"The Dirty South Rapple"
Intentional or not, this hefty behemoth of an apple is named after Dirty South rapper Ludacris of “Move B***** Get Out Da Way” fame. The word ludicrous is spelled with an “I”. The rapper Ludacris is spelled with an “A”. And so, naming an apple Ludacrisp (with an “A”) is an obvious homage to the early-2000s undisputed king of southern hospitality. Yet, in a baffling omission, the Midwest Apple Improvement Association seems to purposely ignore this blatant connection:
“The name Ludacrisp® is a play on the word “ludicrous,” meaning something that is absurd, joking, nonsensical, and playful. The apple’s name was created to make people smile.”
And so, just like the Spotify playlists of the midwest farmers who named it, Ludacris is nowhere to be found. Admittedly, it would be difficult to sell a supermarket on a dirty south rapple with a sign that says “Move Pears Get Out Da Way.” Perhaps it’s best the connection remain unspoken, and those who know, just know?
To be fair, the discoverer of this apple wished to call it the “Juicy Fruit” – because it tastes like the shitty gum. Which is not only a stupid name – it is also a trademarked name and therefore, impossible. However, Juicy Fruit may be a more appropriate label than Ludacrisp since while this apple is only moderately crispy, it is, in fact, ludicrously juicy. As juicy as a ho’s ass – as Luda might say. On the flip side, like Luda’s raunchy lyrics, this apple packs a powerful flavor-punch that will remain incredibly divisive.
And so, despite the confusion surrounding the name, the Ludacrisp is a must-try apple. After one ho-smacking bite, you’ll either be calling the FCC to have it banned, or telling the other apples in your fridge to get out da way.
BONUS POINTS: +2 Juiciness
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
4/5
TARTNESS
1/5
INTENSITY
4/5
LUDACRISP BIO
PARENTAGE
ORIGIN
Pataskala, Ohio
YEAR
2019
AVAILABILITY
Late Fall – Winter
BEST USES
OTHER NAMES
Juicy Fruit, MAIA-L
“Move Bitch get out of the way” Apple good to know
Juicy Fruit was my favorite gum as a kid, even if the flavor only lasts for two seconds. If this apple resembles it I MUST try it!
Pretty good tasting apple but does not even come close to the deliciousness of the HONEYCRISP apple. Please do not associate the Ludacrisp apple with the rapper. There is no reason to do so and it makes the writer appear less than intelligent. Stupid, in fact.
We wouldn’t want that now, would we, Karen.
P.S. OP: you’ve got a typo at the bottom: “muching”
P.P.S.
apple is good, likey
I bet you’re fun at parties.
This is the best Apple review I’ve ever read. Thank you
Alright, You are hilarious and a very skilled wordsmith.
I’ve never seen Ludacrisp in a grocery store, but my local farmers’ markets have it (Montgomery County, Maryland) at $2.99/pound.
It’s the only apple I eat now. I’ve turned into a snob for these. Don’t get me wrong, evercrisp is great, but it just doesn’t have that distinct taste a luda does. It’s unique and flavorful.
Ate one off the tree at a local orchard today and it was a revelation. Plenty crisp; I’m interested to see if/how that changes over the entire peck that I immediately bought, still drunk on the joy of first-bite ludacrisp flavor.
“Move PEACH, get out the way” was right there and you fucken blew it.
Re “peach,” you are so right. Just leaving this comment to give you a star. ^_^