Sweetie Apple Review
"A Watery Grave"
Not Worth Eating
This oblong, Salvador Dali-esque, warp-fruit generously tilts its way off your table in what can only be described as a philanthropic suicide attempt. Its obvious cry for help is understandable as no apple could continually bare to live with crunch after crunch of disappointment as an initial juicy flavor burst full of potential quickly dissipates into a very watery grave. Failing to live up to its sugary namesake, failing to live up to its Braeburn x Royal Gala heritage, failing to live up to even its initial bite, the Sweetie would be better served if it were much worse – at least then it would be worth discussing.
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETIE APPLE BIO
Early Fall – Winter
2 thoughts on “Sweetie Apple Review”
Haha I lolled reading this, also found it informative! Thanks apple rankings 🙂
Not to look long ago I had the chance to eat one of these. I saw it in the store and thought to myself “huh, I’ve never heard of a Sweetie apple before, I guess I’ll try one out”. I couldn’t have made a worse mistake. They taste completely bland and dull, the skin is as thick and chewy as a moose hide, and my mouth was in shear pain while eating them because of they’re harder than a block of wood. The juiciness is pretty much the only good part of the apple. If you’re looking for a good apple to eat, than this is not it; if you’re looking for a bad apple to completely ridicule, than this is not it. The Sweetie apple truly isn’t worth your time; it’s not worth your time to buy it; it’s not worth your time to eat it; it’s not worth your time to even discuss it (I myself have wasted my time writing this comment as the Sweetie apple deserves zero attention).