Sweetie Apple Review
"A Watery Grave"
51
Not Worth Eating
This oblong, Salvador Dali-esque, warp-fruit generously tilts its way off your table in what can only be described as a philanthropic suicide attempt. Its obvious cry for help is understandable as no apple could continually bare to live with crunch after crunch of disappointment as an initial juicy flavor-burst full of potential quickly dissipates into a very watery grave. Failing to live up to its sugary namesake, failing to live up to its Braeburn x Royal Gala heritage, failing to live up to even its initial bite, the Sweetie would be better served if it were much worse – at least then it would be worth discussing.
Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
2/5
★★★★★ 2/5
TARTNESS
0/5
★★★★★ 0/5
INTENSITY
1/5
★★★★★ 1/5
SWEETIE APPLE BIO
PARENTAGE
ORIGIN
New Zealand
YEAR
2005
AVAILABILITY
Early Fall – Winter
BEST USES
Munching
Haha I lolled reading this, also found it informative! Thanks apple rankings 🙂
Not to look long ago I had the chance to eat one of these. I saw it in the store and thought to myself “huh, I’ve never heard of a Sweetie apple before, I guess I’ll try one out”. I couldn’t have made a worse mistake. They taste completely bland and dull, the skin is as thick and chewy as a moose hide, and my mouth was in shear pain while eating them because of they’re harder than a block of wood. The juiciness is pretty much the only good part of the apple. If you’re looking for a good apple to eat, than this is not it; if you’re looking for a bad apple to completely ridicule, than this is not it. The Sweetie apple truly isn’t worth your time; it’s not worth your time to buy it; it’s not worth your time to eat it; it’s not worth your time to even discuss it (I myself have wasted my time writing this comment as the Sweetie apple deserves zero attention).