SweeTango Apple Review
"The Greatest of All Time"
Selectively bred to snap like a sweet piece of celery, this apple, available only in September and October (if we’re lucky) in certain super markets is the best apple ever to grace the world of Gods and men. A gifted child of the spectacular Honeycrisp and elusive Zestar, this nearly immaculate treasure was blessed with the greatest qualities of both its parents but manages to avoid any of their unfortunate flaws. If this was the apple that tempted Eve in the garden of Eden I wouldn’t blame her; for the taste of just one SweeTango is worth living through 1000 painful childbirths.
The one downside of the SweeTango – other than needlessly lopping off the “T” from “Sweet” to form the repulsively frolicsome word “Swee” – is its paltry robustness. Get these apples before November 1 or you’ll be cursing my name as you bite into a hollowed out balloon of an apple. And, if in the Western Hemisphere, don’t be fooled into buying New Zealand SweeTangos in the winter – they can’t handle the trip.
UPDATE 2022: A chink in the armor. As the crops have matured and potentially expanded there has been a marked decrease in consistency and appearance. One commenter on this website described its appearance as “shabby” which I tend to agree with. -1 Consistency, -1 Beauty. TOTAL SCORE: 95 –> 93 (Nearly Perfect –> Superb).
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