Autumn Glory Apple Review

"The Glory Hole of Apples"

51
Not Worth Eating
Autumn Glory Apple

Well, science has finally created an apple that tastes like the spit in your mouth right before you vomit. This fever dream of a deranged Washingtonian scientist is shielded by a clever name and shifty marketing team who carelessly toss around manufactured flavor notes such as “caramel”, “warm cider”, and “subtle cinnamon.” But, make no mistake, this pee-stained lump-fruit tastes less like cider and cinnamon and more like a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor that someone accidentally spilled cinnamon on. Which makes this apple less Autumn Glory more Autumn Glory Hole.

That being said, this nasty piss floor of an apple does have the benefit of tasting unique. And while it certainly won’t be for everyone, there are an adventurous few who may actually enjoy a walk on the wild side.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

TARTNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

INTENSITY

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5
AUTUMN GLORY BIO

PARENTAGE

Fuji x Golden Delicious

ORIGIN

Washington, USA

YEAR

2011

AVAILABILITY

Mid-Fall – Spring

BEST USES

Cocktail Base

48 thoughts on “Autumn Glory Apple Review”

  1. “but instead has the not so subtle flavor of a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor” – Well, they say everyone is entitled to their opinion. Now, I’m not going to type here and say the Autumn Glory apple is the best apple on the market, but I’ve had worse. It’s also is my spouse’s favorite apple, behind the Cosmic Crisp and then the Honey Crisp. So, while I will admit that an apple that already has a hint of cider built into it isn’t for everyone, I think we can all agree that anyone who goes around sampling urine soaked bathroom floors, may not have the most reliable taste buds. I give you 7 points for the humor, but 0 points for the accuracy of your review. I would say this to anyone who read the review then made it to the comments, don’t take THE APPLEIST’s word for it on the Autumn Glory. Buy one, try it yourself, then respond with your thoughts in the comments. I think you would be hard pressed to find an apple that actually tastes as bad as bile or urine, but then again, I’ve never sampled urine, so I guess THE APPLEIST is more worldly than I am.

    1. This apple seems to be quite divisive! To be fair, anyone who disagrees with my review should do the due diligence of trying a urine-soaked floor in order to be able to make the comparison. Maybe it tastes better than expected and therefore is actually a compliment!

      1. After sampling a urine-soaked floor with hints human fecal matter, I still rate the Autumn Glory as top apple in my vast sampling array!

    2. I agree. Autumn Glory is the best apple on the market. I anxiously await it`s arrival in Florida each fall and buy a couple bags at a time, knowing the supply is limited and they don`t stay on the shelves long.

  2. Just tried „Autum Gold”. I found it to be one of the most bland apples I’ve ever tasted. Crisp, yes. Too sweet, no complex flavor. I read somewhere it reminded someone of cider. I don’t know what kind of cider they drank, but your review is closer to thd truth.

  3. Each to their own, I guess. My local store started carrying Autumn Gold last fall and I bought a bag to try. I’ve lost count of how many bags I’ve devoured since. In my opinion they are one of the best tasting apples on the market. They are crisp, unlike the Delicious apples, and have a sweet flavor with a little bite. I eat them almost daily and am savoring every one now as it is getting harder to find them now that their season is about over. I’ve used them in cobblers and pies but mostly as a snack by itself or with peanut or almond butter. Don’t let one person’s bad review stop you from missing out on a wonderful treat, or don’t try them. That will leave more for me.

    1. Michele Reavis, I agree with your discription. I LOVE Autumn Glory apples and look for them in the store. I ate one with super crunchy peanut butter today and was in heaven. I don’t care for Honey Crisp, but I love these. As I read the review, and giggled in disbelief, I wondered if this apple is like cilantro. I read somewhere that 80% of people think cilantro tastes great, and 20% thinks it tastes like soap. I’m in the 80% category.

  4. Dude your taste buds are screwed. Hands down the best apple I have ever tasted. The only thing that is close is a sugar bee. Maybe you need to try it again and buy it from someone else. Most people in the comments disagree with you.

  5. I just bought some. I’ve never heard of them before and now I’m super excited to find out if they are the best or worst apple I’ve ever tried. Meanwhile, I had a great laugh reading these opinions! Hopefully I’ll stop laughing long enough to taste it!

  6. Now, having eaten my very first autumn glory apple, I will say that the flavor is a little flat. I do not have any experience, nor do I anticipate trying, urine sprinkled with cinnamon in my mouth. However, I did find that the slightly flat flavor is more than offset by the fabulously crisp and juicy texture. I believe that more than half of the apple-eating experience is about texture. This would be an excellent Carmel apple candidate so that the nuts and Carmel can contrast with the crisp, juicy texture. A very good apple in my opinion, but not the best I’ve ever eaten.

  7. i dont agree but lol this review is hillarious. honestly i like these apples! but i do think these are too sweet but would be good for fermenting into a cider or something.

  8. I haven’t had a bad autumn glory yet, but this review reminds me of what happens to ambrosia in bad years. I love both varieties- when ambrosia is having a good year- but ambrosia sometimes taste YES LIKE AN UNDER-CLEANED PUBLIC RESTROOM SMELLS.

    I opt for autumn glory instead for it’s reliably “fall-baking-flavored” goodness- but apparently I need to count myself lucky because I’ll readily believe they can have an off year (even if perhaps regionally?). This is why I try everything every year and at different points in the harvesting/selling/storage season. Some apples need to sit after picking, others will fail to live up to standards if they sit at all, and some are just BAD some years (or all the time). Some years Pink Pearl is the true queen of the pie apples- with red flesh an absurd density and bubblegum taste like a green apple bubblepop- and others the fruit is literally ruined and brown inside.

    It’s a shame to miss out on an apple at the peak of its marketed quality, so I always try, but I rank apples in my head by “reliability”, and whatever causes an apple to be controversial among apple geeks must make a given variety worthy of a low reliability rating.

  9. I have now eaten three. They’re alright, but I certainly don’t taste cinnamon or caramel or cider. What strikes me most is a floral note, almost as though they were infused with lavender or something. It’s too powerful for me to want to make this my regular eating apple.

    So back to Envy apples, I guess.

  10. This rating of this apple(Autumn Glory) is opposite of reality. It’s very sweet. It’s super crisp. It’s medium to strong in tartness. Great flavor. The guy who reviewed this apple lives in a trailer park in SloTown.

  11. this is a terrible apple. the bite is nice and crisp but the flavor is very dull with the only taste note being some sort of a fermented taste.

  12. found an oopsie: this one’s still listed here as “better than fuji apples” even though fuji now has a higher score than autumn glory

      1. i’ve also noticed a few apples below autumn glory in ranking were listed as being better. did autumn glory also get a revised score at some point?

  13. Dear mr appleist, I just had a Rave apple, searched for its parentage…and holy Christ, am I glad I found your site! Rave is indeed the coby tv honeycrisp. Clicked on Cameo. I’ve eaten plenty because they’re cheap, but no more, I’m through tolerating them. Clicked on autumn glory. I tried several a couple years ago, believing the hype, read a review on another site and was like, oh, yeah, they do suck. Anyway, you’re quite the humorist, I look forward to reading every last review, and if you resort to a little poetic license that’s ok by me. “Well, science has finally created an apple that tastes like the spit in your mouth right before you vomit.” Fooking brilliant, that.

  14. This review is correct in every way. I felt like I had to try a couple of these when I found them because of it, and did so. There was a mild sweetness at the first bite, and then it just immediately vanished. Like I was chasing a ghost or something. The remainder was the most bland, flavorless apple experience I’ve ever had.

  15. I’m eating one of these right now. Honestly, I like the taste. To be fair, I have drank urine, by accident of course, while deployed overseas with the military when I grabbed the wrong bottle. To compare this to urine is quite off the course of truthfulness. It’s possible your mouth was full of semen at the time and that is what you were tasting. I taste notes of sugar cane followed by cider and ending with the almond extract notes. While it’s not for semen lovers, of course, this apple is one to try if you like the flavor of almond extract. If you don’t, keep filling your stomach with man protein.

  16. I really enjoy this site and rankings. My opinion aligns closely on many of the apples. This Autumn Glory apple may be furthest apart. I would put this apple about 7-10 points higher. Particularly in beauty and taste. Taste is unique. Is it disinfectant/urine or is it caramel/cinnamon? Maybe like cilantro is to dish soap…Might it ranges from apple to apple, but surely these differing taste realms can cause a big difference in rating. Worth a try once a season but not sought after.

  17. I’ve eaten about 10 of these apples in the last 3 weeks. It’s a crisp, sweet, juicy apple. Today I tasted a hint of cinnamon for the first time, but never any caramel or cider flavor. Unfamiliar with the flavor of excreta, so can’t comment on that.

  18. JWWW
    Just tasted this apple and I love out. Not surprised learn that one parent in Fuji. Crisp, refreshing, mildly spicy.

  19. Idk the ones I got tasted just barely not as sweet as a SugarBee, tartness seems to vary with them or maybe something’s changed with the flavor the past couple years

  20. I just had my first Autumn Glory apple this week and the juice of it tasted like what I would imagine a cup of warm water would taste like if you swirled a grape tootsie pop in it for about 60 seconds. It was very bland, not very sweet but it was watery. Unfortunately, I bought two of them, so the next one I will pairing with a copious amount of peanut butter.

  21. I just now ate an Autumn Glory apple. It was delicious with a nice crunchy texture. It was sweet; very little tartness. It ranks with the best of apples that are eaten fresh, raw and without additional toppings, sweeteners, candy and the like. It is difficult for me to believe that the person writing the review has actually ever tasted this apple.

  22. Okay, who bases their apple buying/eating choices on the opinion of someone who knows what ‘a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor’ tastes like? Hard pass. With or without the ‘spilled cinnamon.’

  23. Eating this apple for the 1st time, so I thought I would google it for more information and stumbled upon this review. I think it tastes great – crisp and refreshing. I’d buy it again. I don’t profess to be an an apple expert – I either like it or I don’t, but never have I ever disliked an apple to the degree this guy does. I’m not sure what you are lacking in life that you feel the need to liken the apple to a urine soaked gas station bathroom floor, but I think you should seek some counselling…somewhere where they will give you a hug. I think you were awarded too many fake ribbons along your life path and now you think you can write reviews. Try the apple people – its not that bad.

  24. StickingWithGrannySmith

    The comments do not disappoint and the honest detailed review is my kind of food review. Most apples do not bring me joy. I’m a granny-smith – give me the tart kind of connoisseur. Although I did eat a freshly picked from the tree reddish apple and it was phenomenal but I have no idea what kind it was, so I’ll stick to my green apples. I appreciate the humor and descriptions here! I trust the urine floor review more than the “these are the best ever apples.” Because…my taste buds are not adventurous.

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