Autumn Glory Apple Review
"The Glory Hole of Apples"
Well, science has finally created an apple that tastes like the spit in your mouth right before you vomit. This fever dream of a deranged Washingtonian scientist is shielded by a clever name and shifty marketing team who carelessly toss around manufactured flavor notes such as “caramel”, “warm cider”, and “subtle cinnamon.” But, make no mistake, this pee-stained lump-fruit tastes less like cider and cinnamon and more like a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor that someone accidentally spilled cinnamon on. Which makes this apple less Autumn Glory more Autumn Glory Hole.
That being said, this nasty piss floor of an apple does have the benefit of tasting unique. And while it certainly won’t be for everyone, there are an adventurous few who may actually enjoy a walk on the wild side.
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
AUTUMN GLORY BIO
Mid-Fall – Spring
29 thoughts on “Autumn Glory Apple Review”
What the hell is wrong woth your taste buds. And what the hell do you do on the weekend? Stupid pointless review
I spend most weekends alone, in a dark room.
This website made my weekend
Finally, validation for my hours of toiling!
Autumn Glory Hole………..I nearly spit out my drink!! So glad I found your informative website.
It is my life’s purpose
“but instead has the not so subtle flavor of a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor” – Well, they say everyone is entitled to their opinion. Now, I’m not going to type here and say the Autumn Glory apple is the best apple on the market, but I’ve had worse. It’s also is my spouse’s favorite apple, behind the Cosmic Crisp and then the Honey Crisp. So, while I will admit that an apple that already has a hint of cider built into it isn’t for everyone, I think we can all agree that anyone who goes around sampling urine soaked bathroom floors, may not have the most reliable taste buds. I give you 7 points for the humor, but 0 points for the accuracy of your review. I would say this to anyone who read the review then made it to the comments, don’t take THE APPLEIST’s word for it on the Autumn Glory. Buy one, try it yourself, then respond with your thoughts in the comments. I think you would be hard pressed to find an apple that actually tastes as bad as bile or urine, but then again, I’ve never sampled urine, so I guess THE APPLEIST is more worldly than I am.
This apple seems to be quite divisive! To be fair, anyone who disagrees with my review should do the due diligence of trying a urine-soaked floor in order to be able to make the comparison. Maybe it tastes better than expected and therefore is actually a compliment!
I agree. Autumn Glory is the best apple on the market. I anxiously await it`s arrival in Florida each fall and buy a couple bags at a time, knowing the supply is limited and they don`t stay on the shelves long.
This apple has a subtle flavor and no tartness. I am fond of it.
Just tried „Autum Gold”. I found it to be one of the most bland apples I’ve ever tasted. Crisp, yes. Too sweet, no complex flavor. I read somewhere it reminded someone of cider. I don’t know what kind of cider they drank, but your review is closer to thd truth.
The truth always comes out!
Each to their own, I guess. My local store started carrying Autumn Gold last fall and I bought a bag to try. I’ve lost count of how many bags I’ve devoured since. In my opinion they are one of the best tasting apples on the market. They are crisp, unlike the Delicious apples, and have a sweet flavor with a little bite. I eat them almost daily and am savoring every one now as it is getting harder to find them now that their season is about over. I’ve used them in cobblers and pies but mostly as a snack by itself or with peanut or almond butter. Don’t let one person’s bad review stop you from missing out on a wonderful treat, or don’t try them. That will leave more for me.
Autumn Gold or Autumn Glory?
Michele Reavis, I agree with your discription. I LOVE Autumn Glory apples and look for them in the store. I ate one with super crunchy peanut butter today and was in heaven. I don’t care for Honey Crisp, but I love these. As I read the review, and giggled in disbelief, I wondered if this apple is like cilantro. I read somewhere that 80% of people think cilantro tastes great, and 20% thinks it tastes like soap. I’m in the 80% category.
Dude your taste buds are screwed. Hands down the best apple I have ever tasted. The only thing that is close is a sugar bee. Maybe you need to try it again and buy it from someone else. Most people in the comments disagree with you.
I just bought some. I’ve never heard of them before and now I’m super excited to find out if they are the best or worst apple I’ve ever tried. Meanwhile, I had a great laugh reading these opinions! Hopefully I’ll stop laughing long enough to taste it!
Now, having eaten my very first autumn glory apple, I will say that the flavor is a little flat. I do not have any experience, nor do I anticipate trying, urine sprinkled with cinnamon in my mouth. However, I did find that the slightly flat flavor is more than offset by the fabulously crisp and juicy texture. I believe that more than half of the apple-eating experience is about texture. This would be an excellent Carmel apple candidate so that the nuts and Carmel can contrast with the crisp, juicy texture. A very good apple in my opinion, but not the best I’ve ever eaten.
Excellent assessment! Thank you for sharing your journey through this divisive apple
Go back to tasting bathroom floors. These apples are great.
i dont agree but lol this review is hillarious. honestly i like these apples! but i do think these are too sweet but would be good for fermenting into a cider or something.
An apple that can substitute for my morning glory hole tasting? My wife will be disappointed… or possibly relieved…
Hahaha – there’s an apple for everyone
I haven’t had a bad autumn glory yet, but this review reminds me of what happens to ambrosia in bad years. I love both varieties- when ambrosia is having a good year- but ambrosia sometimes taste YES LIKE AN UNDER-CLEANED PUBLIC RESTROOM SMELLS.
I opt for autumn glory instead for it’s reliably “fall-baking-flavored” goodness- but apparently I need to count myself lucky because I’ll readily believe they can have an off year (even if perhaps regionally?). This is why I try everything every year and at different points in the harvesting/selling/storage season. Some apples need to sit after picking, others will fail to live up to standards if they sit at all, and some are just BAD some years (or all the time). Some years Pink Pearl is the true queen of the pie apples- with red flesh an absurd density and bubblegum taste like a green apple bubblepop- and others the fruit is literally ruined and brown inside.
It’s a shame to miss out on an apple at the peak of its marketed quality, so I always try, but I rank apples in my head by “reliability”, and whatever causes an apple to be controversial among apple geeks must make a given variety worthy of a low reliability rating.
I have now eaten three. They’re alright, but I certainly don’t taste cinnamon or caramel or cider. What strikes me most is a floral note, almost as though they were infused with lavender or something. It’s too powerful for me to want to make this my regular eating apple.
So back to Envy apples, I guess.
This rating of this apple(Autumn Glory) is opposite of reality. It’s very sweet. It’s super crisp. It’s medium to strong in tartness. Great flavor. The guy who reviewed this apple lives in a trailer park in SloTown.
SloTown is up-and-coming and a great place to raise a family
this is a terrible apple. the bite is nice and crisp but the flavor is very dull with the only taste note being some sort of a fermented taste.
the writer of this review is either extremely stoned or not stoned nearly enough. its delicious.