Autumn Glory Apple Review
"The Glory Hole of Apples"
Well, science has finally created an apple that tastes like the spit in your mouth right before you vomit. This fever dream of a deranged Washingtonian scientist is shielded by a clever name and shifty marketing team who carelessly toss around manufactured flavor notes such as “caramel”, “warm cider”, and “subtle cinnamon.” But, make no mistake, this pee-stained lump-fruit tastes less like cider and cinnamon and more like a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor that someone accidentally spilled cinnamon on. Which makes this apple less Autumn Glory more Autumn Glory Hole.
That being said, this nasty piss floor of an apple does have the benefit of tasting unique. And while it certainly won’t be for everyone, there are an adventurous few who may actually enjoy a walk on the wild side.
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
2/5
TARTNESS
1/5
INTENSITY
2.5/5
AUTUMN GLORY BIO
PARENTAGE
ORIGIN
Washington, USA
YEAR
2011
AVAILABILITY
Mid-Fall – Spring
BEST USES
Cocktail Base
What the hell is wrong woth your taste buds. And what the hell do you do on the weekend? Stupid pointless review
I spend most weekends alone, in a dark room.
You have NO taste
This website made my weekend
Finally, validation for my hours of toiling!
Autumn Glory Hole………..I nearly spit out my drink!! So glad I found your informative website.
It is my life’s purpose
“but instead has the not so subtle flavor of a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor” – Well, they say everyone is entitled to their opinion. Now, I’m not going to type here and say the Autumn Glory apple is the best apple on the market, but I’ve had worse. It’s also is my spouse’s favorite apple, behind the Cosmic Crisp and then the Honey Crisp. So, while I will admit that an apple that already has a hint of cider built into it isn’t for everyone, I think we can all agree that anyone who goes around sampling urine soaked bathroom floors, may not have the most reliable taste buds. I give you 7 points for the humor, but 0 points for the accuracy of your review. I would say this to anyone who read the review then made it to the comments, don’t take THE APPLEIST’s word for it on the Autumn Glory. Buy one, try it yourself, then respond with your thoughts in the comments. I think you would be hard pressed to find an apple that actually tastes as bad as bile or urine, but then again, I’ve never sampled urine, so I guess THE APPLEIST is more worldly than I am.
This apple seems to be quite divisive! To be fair, anyone who disagrees with my review should do the due diligence of trying a urine-soaked floor in order to be able to make the comparison. Maybe it tastes better than expected and therefore is actually a compliment!
After sampling a urine-soaked floor with hints human fecal matter, I still rate the Autumn Glory as top apple in my vast sampling array!
“divisive? Is that even a real word? The best apple on the plant was the golden delicious. But what happened to that breed of apple? Now I know they were cross-breeding it. Can’t they just leave well enough alone? That’s like how “they” want to cross-breed women with dogs…..to see if they give birth to a large litter of live puppies!!! For God’s sake, what type of sick demonic presence overtakes a person’s abillity to rationalize one’s own actions. Hey, let’s implant another dog’s head on this other dog’s body so we can see if they will eat their dry doggy food together!! Oh wow! Success! That’s just sick! Bring bag the original golden delicious apple without the cross-breeding will ya please? And while you’re at it, I’d like my Milani creme to powder foundation, medium beige, 07 back! There are no other similar tones; you can’t always substitute one for the other. Is the consumer always right? Oh, that’s the customer. And quit the damn comtrails will ya? No, you can’t force me into getting one of your Covid vaccines; not now. Not ever! GO TRUMP!!!!!!
I agree. Autumn Glory is the best apple on the market. I anxiously await it`s arrival in Florida each fall and buy a couple bags at a time, knowing the supply is limited and they don`t stay on the shelves long.
This apple has a subtle flavor and no tartness. I am fond of it.
Just tried „Autum Gold”. I found it to be one of the most bland apples I’ve ever tasted. Crisp, yes. Too sweet, no complex flavor. I read somewhere it reminded someone of cider. I don’t know what kind of cider they drank, but your review is closer to thd truth.
The truth always comes out!
Each to their own, I guess. My local store started carrying Autumn Gold last fall and I bought a bag to try. I’ve lost count of how many bags I’ve devoured since. In my opinion they are one of the best tasting apples on the market. They are crisp, unlike the Delicious apples, and have a sweet flavor with a little bite. I eat them almost daily and am savoring every one now as it is getting harder to find them now that their season is about over. I’ve used them in cobblers and pies but mostly as a snack by itself or with peanut or almond butter. Don’t let one person’s bad review stop you from missing out on a wonderful treat, or don’t try them. That will leave more for me.
Autumn Gold or Autumn Glory?
Michele Reavis, I agree with your discription. I LOVE Autumn Glory apples and look for them in the store. I ate one with super crunchy peanut butter today and was in heaven. I don’t care for Honey Crisp, but I love these. As I read the review, and giggled in disbelief, I wondered if this apple is like cilantro. I read somewhere that 80% of people think cilantro tastes great, and 20% thinks it tastes like soap. I’m in the 80% category.
Dude your taste buds are screwed. Hands down the best apple I have ever tasted. The only thing that is close is a sugar bee. Maybe you need to try it again and buy it from someone else. Most people in the comments disagree with you.
I just bought some. I’ve never heard of them before and now I’m super excited to find out if they are the best or worst apple I’ve ever tried. Meanwhile, I had a great laugh reading these opinions! Hopefully I’ll stop laughing long enough to taste it!
Now, having eaten my very first autumn glory apple, I will say that the flavor is a little flat. I do not have any experience, nor do I anticipate trying, urine sprinkled with cinnamon in my mouth. However, I did find that the slightly flat flavor is more than offset by the fabulously crisp and juicy texture. I believe that more than half of the apple-eating experience is about texture. This would be an excellent Carmel apple candidate so that the nuts and Carmel can contrast with the crisp, juicy texture. A very good apple in my opinion, but not the best I’ve ever eaten.
Excellent assessment! Thank you for sharing your journey through this divisive apple
Go back to tasting bathroom floors. These apples are great.
i dont agree but lol this review is hillarious. honestly i like these apples! but i do think these are too sweet but would be good for fermenting into a cider or something.
An apple that can substitute for my morning glory hole tasting? My wife will be disappointed… or possibly relieved…
Hahaha – there’s an apple for everyone
I haven’t had a bad autumn glory yet, but this review reminds me of what happens to ambrosia in bad years. I love both varieties- when ambrosia is having a good year- but ambrosia sometimes taste YES LIKE AN UNDER-CLEANED PUBLIC RESTROOM SMELLS.
I opt for autumn glory instead for it’s reliably “fall-baking-flavored” goodness- but apparently I need to count myself lucky because I’ll readily believe they can have an off year (even if perhaps regionally?). This is why I try everything every year and at different points in the harvesting/selling/storage season. Some apples need to sit after picking, others will fail to live up to standards if they sit at all, and some are just BAD some years (or all the time). Some years Pink Pearl is the true queen of the pie apples- with red flesh an absurd density and bubblegum taste like a green apple bubblepop- and others the fruit is literally ruined and brown inside.
It’s a shame to miss out on an apple at the peak of its marketed quality, so I always try, but I rank apples in my head by “reliability”, and whatever causes an apple to be controversial among apple geeks must make a given variety worthy of a low reliability rating.
I have now eaten three. They’re alright, but I certainly don’t taste cinnamon or caramel or cider. What strikes me most is a floral note, almost as though they were infused with lavender or something. It’s too powerful for me to want to make this my regular eating apple.
So back to Envy apples, I guess.
This rating of this apple(Autumn Glory) is opposite of reality. It’s very sweet. It’s super crisp. It’s medium to strong in tartness. Great flavor. The guy who reviewed this apple lives in a trailer park in SloTown.
SloTown is up-and-coming and a great place to raise a family
this is a terrible apple. the bite is nice and crisp but the flavor is very dull with the only taste note being some sort of a fermented taste.
the writer of this review is either extremely stoned or not stoned nearly enough. its delicious.
found an oopsie: this one’s still listed here as “better than fuji apples” even though fuji now has a higher score than autumn glory
Good eye!!!
i’ve also noticed a few apples below autumn glory in ranking were listed as being better. did autumn glory also get a revised score at some point?
Maybe it was the other ones I changed – what did you notice?
Dear mr appleist, I just had a Rave apple, searched for its parentage…and holy Christ, am I glad I found your site! Rave is indeed the coby tv honeycrisp. Clicked on Cameo. I’ve eaten plenty because they’re cheap, but no more, I’m through tolerating them. Clicked on autumn glory. I tried several a couple years ago, believing the hype, read a review on another site and was like, oh, yeah, they do suck. Anyway, you’re quite the humorist, I look forward to reading every last review, and if you resort to a little poetic license that’s ok by me. “Well, science has finally created an apple that tastes like the spit in your mouth right before you vomit.” Fooking brilliant, that.
This review is correct in every way. I felt like I had to try a couple of these when I found them because of it, and did so. There was a mild sweetness at the first bite, and then it just immediately vanished. Like I was chasing a ghost or something. The remainder was the most bland, flavorless apple experience I’ve ever had.
I’m eating one of these right now. Honestly, I like the taste. To be fair, I have drank urine, by accident of course, while deployed overseas with the military when I grabbed the wrong bottle. To compare this to urine is quite off the course of truthfulness. It’s possible your mouth was full of semen at the time and that is what you were tasting. I taste notes of sugar cane followed by cider and ending with the almond extract notes. While it’s not for semen lovers, of course, this apple is one to try if you like the flavor of almond extract. If you don’t, keep filling your stomach with man protein.
I really enjoy this site and rankings. My opinion aligns closely on many of the apples. This Autumn Glory apple may be furthest apart. I would put this apple about 7-10 points higher. Particularly in beauty and taste. Taste is unique. Is it disinfectant/urine or is it caramel/cinnamon? Maybe like cilantro is to dish soap…Might it ranges from apple to apple, but surely these differing taste realms can cause a big difference in rating. Worth a try once a season but not sought after.
This apple is awesome. Got a bag yesterday. Has a hint of sugar candy. Love this apple. You should seek a doctor.
I’ve eaten about 10 of these apples in the last 3 weeks. It’s a crisp, sweet, juicy apple. Today I tasted a hint of cinnamon for the first time, but never any caramel or cider flavor. Unfamiliar with the flavor of excreta, so can’t comment on that.
JWWW
Just tasted this apple and I love out. Not surprised learn that one parent in Fuji. Crisp, refreshing, mildly spicy.
Idk the ones I got tasted just barely not as sweet as a SugarBee, tartness seems to vary with them or maybe something’s changed with the flavor the past couple years
I just had my first Autumn Glory apple this week and the juice of it tasted like what I would imagine a cup of warm water would taste like if you swirled a grape tootsie pop in it for about 60 seconds. It was very bland, not very sweet but it was watery. Unfortunately, I bought two of them, so the next one I will pairing with a copious amount of peanut butter.
I just now ate an Autumn Glory apple. It was delicious with a nice crunchy texture. It was sweet; very little tartness. It ranks with the best of apples that are eaten fresh, raw and without additional toppings, sweeteners, candy and the like. It is difficult for me to believe that the person writing the review has actually ever tasted this apple.
Okay, who bases their apple buying/eating choices on the opinion of someone who knows what ‘a urine-soaked gas station bathroom floor’ tastes like? Hard pass. With or without the ‘spilled cinnamon.’
Eating this apple for the 1st time, so I thought I would google it for more information and stumbled upon this review. I think it tastes great – crisp and refreshing. I’d buy it again. I don’t profess to be an an apple expert – I either like it or I don’t, but never have I ever disliked an apple to the degree this guy does. I’m not sure what you are lacking in life that you feel the need to liken the apple to a urine soaked gas station bathroom floor, but I think you should seek some counselling…somewhere where they will give you a hug. I think you were awarded too many fake ribbons along your life path and now you think you can write reviews. Try the apple people – its not that bad.
The comments do not disappoint and the honest detailed review is my kind of food review. Most apples do not bring me joy. I’m a granny-smith – give me the tart kind of connoisseur. Although I did eat a freshly picked from the tree reddish apple and it was phenomenal but I have no idea what kind it was, so I’ll stick to my green apples. I appreciate the humor and descriptions here! I trust the urine floor review more than the “these are the best ever apples.” Because…my taste buds are not adventurous.
You are a fool.
This site is beautiful. Thank you so much. I just found it and I’m laughing so hard. You’re a genious.
Whoever wrote that top review of the Autumn Glory apple must be a frequent visitor to glory holes and be on their 4th or 5th pair of knee pads. My advice would be to try the Autumn Glory BEFORE spending an afternoon on your knees gobbling on whatever strange meat is thrust into you open maw from the stall next door.
Autumn Glory apples are one of my favorites. I’ve found that if you keep the Autumn Glory refrigerated it alters the taste of the apple a bit so that it actually takes like Hawaiian Punch.
Unfortunately, a bag of these Autumn Glory apples have ended up in my kitchen fruit bowl. This apple leans on the bad side of mediocre, especially now that it’s early fall and better contenders such as the SweeTango are on shelves.
The fruit itself is crisp as well as decently juicy, however the taste profile can be described as flat and subtly chemical-like, which is where I suspect the likening to urine comes from. The negatives outweigh the positives, as it’s quite difficult to enjoy any other aspects while your tastebuds are violated by this apple.
There’s a vile aftertaste and mouthfeel that lingers for several minutes afterwards. I can only compare it to the same feeling as eating too many frosted sugar cookies. Overall, not worth eating even if you had a gun to your head.
Truly another foul byproduct of human intelligence.
Reviews like this one and some of your other ones, have made it clear that you are not a source of useful information. At least I won’t be wasting my time anymore with links to this site.
I just tried the Autumn Glory and find it crispy and juicy, but it is not going to be my favorite. I personally prefer Honeycrisp or Sugar Bee.
This apple is good.
I got a bag of these apples. they ran very small. the first one i tried was underwhelming. reminded me of a typical red (gala) apple. my second from the bag was much better, it tasted like caramel as advertised. i hate when food is inconsistent. so even when the second one was a lot better, i still am tainted by my previous disappointment. the skin was thin. much more sweet than some.
I saw these and thought “ooo, new apple dropped” and checked the rankings. Never steered me wrong so far. So I ditched the Autumn glory and grabbed a bag of Sweetangos. No regrets, as STs are elite. Maybe I’ll try urine floor or apples if I ever happen across a single, but if I never do, I will not be sad. Thanks, Appleist, for always being there when I need you.
Amongst the great gaggle of new apple varieties showing themselves, Autumn Glory is a standout. It’s in the top five of my rankings. And that makes sense because its parents, Golden Delicious and Fuji, are two excellent varieties. I am an apple grower and I would plant a bunch of Autumn Glory trees if I could get my hands on them. But it is an exclusive “club variety” and currently only released for planting in Washington State which is not where I grow apples. And even in Washington a grower must be licensed by the patent holder under strict contractual terms to grow this new variety. Some day the trees will be released for widespread planting and if I am still standing I will plant them.
I just had an autumn glory that was so disgusting I had to look up your review. Once upon a time I worked in fruit distribution and I must have tasted one of these back then but haven’t had one since. It tastes so strongly of Barbasol shaving cream that after washing and cutting it I washed the skin again with dish soap in case it was literally covered in shaving cream and/or cleaning products. Still tasted the same, I def get the bathroom floor reference but for me it’s less urine and more chemical mop. Texture was nice but that’s about it. I’ll be feeding the rest to my dog!
You should be the last person to review apples. You have a distorted taste bud and views. This is a really really good apple.
I tried Autumn glory for the first time last fall and fell completely in love with the slightly tart yet sweet crisp flavor…easily beating out the usual suspects (envy, cosmic, gala, honeycrisp, etc). However they weren’t re-stocked at the store this year. Maybe I got hold of an usually delicious crop?