Ruby Jon Apple Review
"A Spirited Himbo"

A blisteringly hot himbo of deep crimson complexion, RubyJon is truly a feast for the eyes. A sport (variety from the same tree) of the peculiar Jonathan Apple, this magnetic vision of an idealized form is a stunning delight to behold, unblemished and over-confident, fit to be wielded in temptation by Queen Grimhilde herself. But like most objects which are upsettingly attractive, RubyJon is quite dense and lacks the personality to justify its external advantage. Delivering an initial thrust of satisfying tartness, this apple straddles the line between mealy and crisp, juicy and dry, and is draped with a hefty skin, soiling its initial enchantment. Not to be totally disregarded, RubyJon is an exhilarating piece of eye candy well-suited for an hour of harmless fun in the backroom of a Chippendales.
BONUS POINTS: +3 Beauty
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
1/5

TARTNESS
2.5/5

INTENSITY
2/5

it feels like you wanna fuck this apple in particular
coming back after reading other reviews, it seems like there are indeed many varieties of apple that you would like to fuck. which is awesome
wtf are you talking about and what kind of weird apple kinks are you into