Kanzi Apple Review

"The European Party Apple"

93
Superb
Kanzi Apple

🏅 #1 RANKED SOUR APPLE

Keep this apple away from your children. For one bite of this dangerously tart, Sour Warhead-esque European party apple can send even the most hardened chewers down a wormhole of indescribable intensity rendering normal life a feckless charade lacking all discernible stimuli.

The provocative slogan of this fruit-like opioid is “Seduce Life” – a despicable and totally inappropriate combination of words for any occasion, much less a fruit’s mantra. But perhaps the Belgian sociopaths who cooked up this irresistible scourge on humanity uttered these words as a warning. Heed them or become one of the delirious hordes of cocksure maniacs who dared enter the realm of psychedelic ecstasy that is the Kanzi. Once you do, you may never be able to break free from the siren’s embrace.

BONUS POINTS: +3 Taste

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding / Consistency
Cost / Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

3/5

Red Apple Icon
3/5

TARTNESS

5/5

Red Apple Icon
5/5

INTENSITY

100/5

Red Apple Icon
5/5
KANZI APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Gala x Braeburn

ORIGIN

Belgium

YEAR

2004

AVAILABILITY

Late Winter – Early Spring

BEST USES

Party Night, Sour Apple

OTHER NAMES

Nicoter

39 thoughts on “Kanzi Apple Review”

  1. I bought kanzi apples a few months ago and addicted.
    I never ate apples, always something l didn’t like to eat but cooked them instead.
    I just love these apples and will eat them every day as the flavours are awesome and skin isn’t thick like some, and soooo juicy, absolutely delicious and won’t buy anything else now, thanks for this beautiful piece of pure delight and orgasm of the mouth.

  2. As a fellow apple enthusiast I am seriously LOSING my shit at this website. Hilarious takes but also super accurate?
    This apple really is that intense! Never have I been so blown away by the amount of flavor packed in an apple.

    Currently working on some illustrations for the apples I love and the Kanzi one would not be complete without bright colors and confetti.
    Keep up the great reviews, man!

    1. Please do one for Pink Lady! Envy is delicious too but not as striking an appearance IMHO. Maybe the Appleist would be willing to add yours to the apples that deserve it 😀

  3. So apparently this is one of those “amazing for five minutes” varieties. Once again I was excited to finally find some to try based on your reviews, and once again utterly disappointed. Juicy but mushy, and the taste is sour, and…sour. Not even the sourest I’ve had, but that was the only flavor present. If I find them again earlier in the season I’ll debate whether I want to risk wasting my money again, but this was the first time they’ve appeared around here.

    1. When fresh the Kanzi is not a mushy apple. If you got a mushy Kanzi, it probably wasn’t in season. These are grown all over the world. Many in Europe, but also in Australia, and the US. There are quality standards associated with Kanzi (unlike other apple varieties without brand integrity to maintain), but you still could wind up with an apple that has been previously frozen in storage or shipped across the world to get to your grocery store. This is especially true if you don’t normally see them in your local grocery store. It’s always best to get apples that are locally grown. So, if you live in New York you may swear by the Macoun Apple, but if you live in Australia and one happens to make it to your grocery store, you would think it was unholy garbage. Since the Kanzi is grown in many places, it is good to cross check the distributor (usually can be found on label) with the season.

  4. If it’s not grown here then getting a fresh one won’t be an option ‍♀️ I keep an eye out at several stores.

  5. I’ve been alive 36 years and have only tolerated apples this entire time. Found Kanzi at Central Market a couple of weeks ago and I’m undone. I will now drive 30+ minutes for just these apples.

  6. Pinata/plinova are having a really good year, and Envy and Evercrisp are fighting to be my current favorite overall (with zestar and koru in the running) but Kanzi is a reliably fantastic apple when you dont want to risk whether some apples are having a good year or want to worry whether everyone in the family will enjoy it. Maybe I Dont enjoy “easily yummy” enough- I’m always trying everything that doesnt have “delicious” in the name every year- but it at least deserves its special sticker.

  7. this apple is tite. i find many apples too big/dense and want to stop halfway through. but i’m taking bites out the whole apple so i gotta finish it. kanzi apple, i ate like a fricking donut. delicious sweet-sour flavor, and it bites so easily. gone in 60 seconds.

  8. I found Kanzi apples in a local supermarket for the first time ever yesterday, and based upon this review, I picked them over my long-time favourite Jazz apples. I tried one today expecting greatness and instead I got a faintly sweet, not at all sour and mushy mess. Not a terrible apple but too reminiscent of a mushy braeburn for me to enjoy it.

    You’ve said in a previous comment that a mushy Kanzi apple is probably down to not being fresh, being out of season, previously frozen, etc. and I would be willing to try them again if I ever find them again. However, this Kanzi apple’s poor showing, alongside your middling review of Jazz apples, has made me question everything.

  9. As a sensory-seeking, granny smith loving, strangle little freak child, I NEED to get my hands on this. I am eve and you are the snake holding out the forbidden fruit to me.

  10. tried kanzi apples for the first time and was not a fan. so sour they were straight up bitter! now i’m confused if i got a bad batch or if they’re supposed to taste like that??

  11. In my opinion, the Jazz and Kanzi reviews are backwards! The Jazz apples I get here in Australia have been consistently more crisp and sour while the Kanzis are pretty okay, but they’re the ones with “discordant notes” for me with a sweeter flavour that isn’t quite right, occasional mealiness, and a poor aftertaste. Reading the reviews echos how I feel about the apples, just reversed!

    I buy different varieties of apples when their prices come down with the season, but I’ve been disappointed by in-season Kanzis and impressed by out of season Jazz apples that I bought because I was craving a Jazz apple.

  12. You are an absolutely ridiculous human being in the best kind of way. I found this site as a means to settle an apple feud but am now destined to read every apple review on this website to satiate my hunger for your writing. Thank you for your service.

  13. I tried one of these yesterday and it was like putting my tongue on the terminals of a 9 volt battery. Nothing but sour taste.

  14. Just bought a Kanzi from Coles Australia, and it has successfully usurped Granny Smiths as my sour apple of choice. Much crispier, softer skinned, and more sweet alongside the sour. My only gripe is the delineation between apple and core is poorer in the Kanzi. I found larger bites often taking some core along with it, whereas Granny’s tended to have more core resilience. Minor contentions! Thank you Brian for upgrading my apple game.

  15. Really wanted to like these after reading the review here but these are pretty nasty. I love a good sour apple but these aren’t sour. They’re sickly sweet but also bitter? They’re similar to a Cripps Pink in taste and texture but with an unpleasant Windex/ Purel Hand Sanitizer secondary flavor. Very chemical and bizarre. Despite being so juicy your hands get sticky, you’re left with a dry bitter almost astringent taste on the tongue that’s not pleasant. You feel thirsty and a bit sick to your stomach after eating one. I washed and even peeled mine thinking maybe it was residue on the skin but no it’s the internal juice. I juiced one and it was the same ick flavor. Refrigeration makes the bitterness worse so if you like a chilled apple these are not ideal. Maybe they just don’t travel well? I was not seduced.

  16. Serendipitously stumbled here on one of my ADHD rabbitholes, and my god, it is PERFECTION.

    Love the layout, love the humor, comprehensive and accurate to boot? A++.

    (and as a dev, this site is goals).

  17. Bought some Kanzi apples for the first time while looking for small Gala or Fuji’s at Trader Joe’s…as I typically do, I paired a slice of apple with a slice of sharp cheddar cheese. From the first crisp exquisite bite of intensely sweet & tart flavor I found myself pulling out the bag & reading the fine print to see if these were intentionally somehow altered to reach such an intensely well-balanced sensational taste. Absolutely the best tasting apple I have had in years! By the way, I am a Nespresso drinker.

  18. Maybe my tastebuds are wired differently, but I am really confused how most are considering this a sour apple. While it’s certainly the supreme apple of all time, to me it’s also the SWEETEST apple of all time, not sour. While I do love sour elsewhere, I do not in my apple, I wouldn’t eat a disgusting locker room sweat Granny Smith even for twenty bucks and a happy ending.
    Can’t speak for the #1 spot yet, but Kanzi absolutely surpasses Honeycrisp no contest.

    P.S. God tier website that all ranking sites should follow.

  19. After reading all comments, I am going to reveal to you the most sour, tastiest, refreshing and delightful apple in the universe. It’s, skin is nice and thin and it is the best apple for pies etc/, but where it really shines is for eating fresh. Stand aside “Kanzi Apple”, the Broad Sour Apple has just taken over first place. I have been growing these apples, as well as many other varieties, for over forty years, and the Broad Sour is the best. These apples are hard to find and I have heard that sometimes they go by the name o Milwaukee.

  20. Purchase Kanzi apples today for the first time. Sadly disappointed Basically a Red Delicious that someone vaguely misted with lemon juice. How is this the number 3 ranked apple?? Weak. Bogus. Boring. 2/10.

  21. ATrueAppleEnthusiast

    If there was one apple that was the embodiment of everything I love and want in one, it’s the Kanzi. Where do I even begin when describing this unimaginable masterpiece of a fruit. They’re one of the juiciest apples I’ve ever had; the flesh has an incredible texture; every bite you take comes with a scrumptious snap; they even look delicious. But out of everything, the thing that makes the Kanzi so phenomenal is the taste. Oh my god, the taste. Words simply cannot describe the sheer incomprehensible flavour of the Kanzi, but that won’t stop me from trying. It’s so sour that it puts the Grannysmith to shame, while it’s simultaneously sugary-sweet and incredibly tart. All of these components blend together to make the single best tasting fruit in the entire observable universe. The taste is so unbelievably intense that if you were to feed a Kanzi to someone with a blindfold on, I wouldn’t blame them for thinking that a grenade just blew up their mouth. Ever since that fateful day where I took a bite into my first ever Kanzi, I was immediately hooked to its nicotine levels of addictiveness, and I will no longer be able to live my life without it.

  22. There is only one problem with the Kanzi variety. How to buy a tree for our garden? I could never grow enough to completely satisfy my appetite for them, however the thought of being able to pick a fresh Kanzi and eat it under the tree is my version of heaven on earth.
    Does anyone grow their own Kanzi?

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