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Golden Delicious Apple Review

"The West Virginia Has-Been"

33
Horse Food
Golden Delicious Apple

The official state fruit of West Virginia, this green-yellow beauty saw its heyday in the Progressive Era when marketed by the Stark Bros as a companion apple to the, then blockbuster smash hit, Red Delicious. One hundred years later, with our collective distaste for the Red Delicious fully realized, this ill-fated adopted brother may as well be called the “Golden Bin Laden.” Fortunately, for consumers who have rightfully shied away from this fading memory of an apple, the mushy, bland, juiceless, Golden Delicious doesn’t bring much to the table aside from fathering better apples and having a nice looking exterior fit for a 2013 U.S. Postal Stamp.

🏅 #8 RANKED CIDER APPLE

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

TARTNESS

0.5/5

Red Apple Icon
0.5/5

INTENSITY

0.5/5

Red Apple Icon
0.5/5
GOLDEN DELICIOUS BIO

PARENTAGE

Grimes Golden x Golden Reinette

ORIGIN

West Virginia

YEAR

1905

AVAILABILITY

Late Fall – Early Winter

BEST USES

Apple Sauce, Apple Butter, Cider

OTHER NAMES

Mullin’s Yellow Seedling, 

Annit Apple, Yellow Delicious

Ambrosia Apple Review

"The Chosen Apple"

76
Very Good
Ambrosia Apple

Ambrosia is the food of the Gods, and while this reclaimed Canadian splotch-ball fails to ascend to the vaunted halls of immortality, it is still a very good apple fit for consumption by us mere mortals. Plucked from Canadian obscurity by The McDougall Family of Wenatchee, WA this honey-sweet, juicy and crisp, straightforward-tasting apple was given the divine nudge to become an affordable, year-round chosen fruit. And while it has parted the sea of lesser apples to emerge as a popular staple, it’s lack of flavor complexity and inconsistency on the shelf makes it fall short of the similar God-like Honeycrisp. So while not a false idol, it’s hard to put all of one’s faith in an apple so imperfect.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding / Consistency
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5

TARTNESS

0/5

Red Apple Icon
0/5

INTENSITY

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5
AMBROSIA APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Jonagold x Golden Delicious

ORIGIN

British Columbia, Canada

(now Wenatchee, WA)

YEAR

1990s

AVAILABILITY

Year-round

BEST USES

Munching

OTHER NAMES

Ambrosia Gold

Lemonade Apple Review

"The Not Quite Lemonade Apple"

63
Barely Worth It
Lemonade Apple

This oblong imposter from New Zealand’s Yummy Fruit Company does not taste like lemonade. It does, however, taste like a regular apple that was accidentally dropped in lemonade. This may come as a disappointment since, with its bright yellow exterior and snappy branding, you’d expect the Lemonade Apple to send you into a citrusy vortex of cockeyed hysterics, forcing your brain to cope with a contradiction of fruity discord that leaves you penniless and naked on a street corner begging pedestrians to slap you back into what you once considered reality. However, maybe we don’t need such extremities in these troubled times. Great for gift bags!

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

TARTNESS

3/5

Red Apple Icon
3/5

INTENSITY

3/5

Red Apple Icon
3/5
LEMONADE APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Royal Gala x Braeburn

ORIGIN

New Zealand

YEAR

Early 2000s

AVAILABILITY

Summer

BEST USES

Gift Bags