Golden Russet Apple Review
"A Putrid Corpse"

This putrid, decomposing, death-fruit is a stinking corpse of an apple that would fit nicely in Wednesday Addams’ lunch box. One of the most foul, horrific looking apples that can be found in America, the Golden Russet is contaminated by the rusted sandpaper skin its namesake implies. But astonishingly, this apple’s zombie-like appearance is not its most striking quality. For this repugnant witch’s curse emits a rancid odor that will make you question whether or not you are eating old fish. Storing well through the winter, its flesh is dense, tough, and chewy like an embalmed cadaver (which quickly devolves into mush like a regular cadaver). That being said, it actually tastes better than it looks – which is not saying much. The Golden Russet is only appropriate for cider production and otherwise should be avoided like the plague.
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
2.5/5

TARTNESS
2.5/5

INTENSITY
1/5

GOLDEN RUSSET BIO
PARENTAGE
English Golden Russet
ORIGIN
New York State
YEAR
1800s
AVAILABILITY
Late Fall
BEST USES
OTHER NAMES
Bullock’s Pippin, Sheep-nose,
American Golden Russet,
Fox Apple, Long Tom
Eat These Apples Instead
This Apple Is Better Than
- Newtown Pippin Apples
- Lady Apples
It really does look like a zombie. I’ve never had one, but seeing as I’m not a necromancer it’d probably be hard to get my hands on one anyway.
Blasphemy! The Golden Russet may not be the best snacking apple, but it’s russeted skin gives such a great variety in texture. A 22 is way too low for an apple that stands out from the generic schlock that you rank so high. I love your reviews because your humor is on point but I disagree with what the archetypical apple should be. Seedling apples offer a wealth of diversity that overcomes the homogenous palate and textures that dominate the grocery store. Just because an apple is a bit odd looking or isn’t the sweetest on earth doesn’t mean it should be ranked so low. I’ll remember the Golden Russet way longer than any of the thousands of Delicious/Fuji clones that keep getting pumped out. Escape mediocrity my man and live on the apple fringes.
i 300% agree!!
yo shoutout you michael
My friend, i am a diehard fan of the russet apple. I have many people try it – saying ignore appearance, and when you bite into it you will be pleasantly surprised. The skin can be a bit off putting but the flavour is out of this world.
Oh my goodness! You must have gotten one way out of season! Here in MA, there are few growers, and a short season, but they are a WONDERFUL eating apple! Super balance of tart and sweet. I can’t remember the specific texture very well, but my tolerance is for crispy apples only – never soft or mushy. I feel quite lucky when I can get my hands on some! You really should reconsider!
Pee pee poo poo apple fr
This apple is of the same type as the Reinette du Canada (they’re both russet apples), a french cultivar of apple that tastes about as bad as it looks. Easily the worst apple I’ve ever eaten, reinettes du Canada are sandy, mealy, mushy, overall a very bad fruit.
These are very common in Portugal, but we only eat them baked: remove the core, fill the space with sugar and a stick of cinnamon and bake
Thank you for informing me about the danger that is this apple, I will make sure to not eat it
Fabulous website! Love all the descriptions and critiques that I have read… except this one! Your only excuse is that you have a US based perspective. You may never have experienced the delights of cutting, peeling and eating, possibly with a chunk of tasty cheddar, an English Russet, preferably during a a long winter evening while toasting your toes in front of an open fire with a glass of wallop. I feel for you. But I will forgive you if you up the score on this particular door and remove some of your derogatory comments. Sure a russet’s skin isn’t shiny and red, sure its flesh isn’t crisp but this apple has more than that. It shouts the delights of autumn and cosy, of Christmas and taste!
some hippie at the farmers market swindled me into buying these for $2 a lb. they maybe were for horses?
Wow – what a bad take. These are one of the top apples ever. The rough skin actually adds depth to the eating experience. The inside texture is beautiful.
The russet apple of my all-time favorites. I look forward to the fall when I can order a box since they are not commercially grown.
Backstory: I used to work at a Frank Lloyd Wright designed home called Wingspread in Racine, WI. The Johnson family of S.C. Johnson and Son fame was an early fan of FLW. They hired him to build their offices. FLW designed The Great Workroom and the Research Tower (looks like a giant Johnson and Johnson baby powder container, which causes a lot of confusion since neither company are related to each other). Wingspread was initially the home of the Johnson’s then was turned into an international conference center. There were several russet apple trees in one of the orchards. That’s my first russet apple experience. Never forgot it. Always order a box when in season.
Oh and because I lived in Minnesota for almost 20 years, I enjoyed honey crisps before they were commercially available. The state is a great incubator of apple varietals.