Sweetie Apple Review
"A Watery Grave"
51
Unworthy
This oblong, Salvador Dali-esque, warp-fruit generously tilts its way off your table in what can only be described as a philanthropic suicide attempt. Its obvious cry for help is understandable as no apple could continually bare to live with crunch after crunch of disappointment as an initial juicy flavor-burst full of potential quickly dissipates into a very watery grave. Failing to live up to its sugary namesake, failing to live up to its Braeburn x Royal Gala heritage, failing to live up to even its initial bite, the Sweetie would be better served if it were much worse – at least then it would be worth discussing.
Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability
- FLAVOR PROFILE -
SWEETNESS
2/5
★★★★★ Rated 2 out of 5
TARTNESS
0/5
★★★★★ Rated 0 out of 5
INTENSITY
1/5
★★★★★ Rated 1 out of 5
SWEETIE APPLE BIO
PARENTAGE
ORIGIN
New Zealand
YEAR
2005
AVAILABILITY
Early Fall – Winter
BEST USES
Munching
My local produce market had these on sale at $1.50 for a two pound bag. I thought I could give them a shot for that price. The first one I had was later that evening before they went into the vegetable crisper. Cutting into the first one produced a lot of juice. The first bite was very disappointing. It felt very soft like an overly ripe pear. I think someone without any teeth could bite into one of these if not for the thick skin. I think they would make a fine applesauce but they aren’t a great eating apple.
The summary is pretty much aligned with my first Sweetie. I am very impressed by the juiciness of the apple. It practically squirted when I made my first cut in (a first for me). The flavor is mild and medium sweet. The batch I got wasn’t as mealy as a poor Gala can get, however it was on the cusp of not being crunchy.
Bought one of these to try since my store started selling them. I thought it could prove you wrong- hell, i *adore* Lemonade apples even though you ranked ‘em pretty low- but no. It was mealy, watery but somehow dry, and tasted like a slightly sweeter Red Delicious. Ugh. At least it was tiny.
Not to look long ago I had the chance to eat one of these. I saw it in the store and thought to myself “huh, I’ve never heard of a Sweetie apple before, I guess I’ll try one out”. I couldn’t have made a worse mistake. They taste completely bland and dull, the skin is as thick and chewy as a moose hide, and my mouth was in shear pain while eating them because of they’re harder than a block of wood. The juiciness is pretty much the only good part of the apple. If you’re looking for a good apple to eat, than this is not it; if you’re looking for a bad apple to completely ridicule, than this is not it. The Sweetie apple truly isn’t worth your time; it’s not worth your time to buy it; it’s not worth your time to eat it; it’s not worth your time to even discuss it (I myself have wasted my time writing this comment as the Sweetie apple deserves zero attention).
Haha I lolled reading this, also found it informative! Thanks apple rankings 🙂