Each engrossing bite of this respectful early season library apple collapses into itself with a crunch polite enough to avoid being shushed. Blanketed in a thin dusty bloom, this dense burgundy tome stained by green mildew captivates eaters from bite one with a spiced tartness underscored by themes of watermelon and cherry. Encased by tough and chewy leather book jacket skin, the cream-colored flesh of this musty obscurity possesses a gummy, clay-like quality reminiscent of a phone book recovered from a flooded basement. Nowhere close to being a bestseller, this intriguing companion fruit is just juicy enough to justify a spot on your summer eating list.

BONUS POINTS: +1 Summer Apple