smitten

The curb stomp of apples, this concrete product of a masochistic breeder in New Zealand is so hard that eating it is quite a lot like biting into a rock. The witch-curse they call a tagline for this apple is “Once bitten, forever smitten”, which reads like a warning label for an impending zombie horde attack, is an appropriate motif for an apple that tastes like the guts of an undead corpse. Avoid this mealy rock-fruit at all costs, for the only person Smitten with this apple will be your local orthodontist.