pear

Candy Crisp Apple Review

"A Pear-Cucked Red Delicious"

69
Mediocre
Candy Crisp Apple

The phenomenally named Candy Crisp Apple out of Marlboro, New York lives up to its name with an astounding crunch, uncommon juiciness, and (if ripe enough) diabetic sweetness. The only problem with this pink blushed, yellow-green, fun lump is that it tastes like a pear. Not even a great pear. An unripe, less-juicy pear that’s been foolishly stored in a refrigerator drawer fated to eternally harden next to a forgotten onion. In fact, if you cut up a Candy Crisp apple and an unripe Bartlett Pear it would make for an incredibly difficult CAPTCHA Test. Nothing against pears but, this half-blood, potentially pear-cucked Red Delicious is basically akin to false advertising.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding / Consistency
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

3.5/5

Red Apple Icon
3.5/5

TARTNESS

0/5

Red Apple Icon
0/5

INTENSITY

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5
CANDY CRISP BIO

PARENTAGE

Red Delicious x Unknown

ORIGIN

Marlboro, NY

YEAR

2005

AVAILABILITY

Late Fall

BEST USES

Munching

Jazz Apple Review

"A Disharmony of Flavor Notes"

65
Mediocre
Jazz Apple

This dense, oblong, rock munch contains a dizzying array of flavors reminiscent of a pretentious jazz solo you pretend to enjoy. Not quite sweet, not quite tart, and a bit of pear thrown in for good measure – this marketing darling will keep you off-balance with a confusion of flavors that fail to harmonize effectively. Like Jazz itself, biting into this apple will spawn moments of joy and moments of boredom leaving bewildered chewers asking the question: did I really just pay for that? Not a terrible apple, but its the flavor notes I’m not tasting that bar it from a recommendation.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

TARTNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

INTENSITY

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5
JAZZ APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Braeburn x Gala

ORIGIN

New Zealand

YEAR

2000

AVAILABILITY

Year-round

BEST USES

Baking, Cooking

OTHER NAMES

The Lawyer’s Apple