Blondee Apple Review
"The Mutant Gala"
At the turn of the millennium Tom and Bob McLaughlin (not to be confused with midwest radio hosts Bob and Tom) were taking a folksy stroll through their orchard when something caught their eye. A yellow apple growing on a Gala tree. Now, everyone and their mother knows that Gala apples are red. Not yellow. So how did this freckly, golden invader come to pass? Well – it turns out it was a mutant. A cosmic fluke. An aberration. We’ve all seen variations on a tree before. They’re called “sports” in apple parlance. But a yellow apple growing on a Red Gala tree? Someone call Maury! Or maybe Professor X.
Now, ol’ Tom and Bob may have simple names, but they have big ideas, and this “Yellow Gala”, as it is sometimes referred, was to be cultivated as a brand new apple that would become known as The Blondee – which is a fine name but I personally think the name “Mutant Gala” would’ve sold more apples.
Fascinating origin story aside, the Blondee apple is not the evolutionary superior to the Gala. A little too dense and not quite juicy enough, this rather crunchy, rare early-season yellow apple has a decent flavor complexity ranging from spicy to sweet. But, all-in-all, nothing about this apple warrants the effort it would take to acquire. Basically, if this mutant was an X-Men character, it probably wouldn’t make it into the movies.
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