jonathan

Jonathan Apple Review

"An Odd Homeschooled Boy"

39
Horse Food
Jonathan Apple

🏅 #6 RANKED CIDER APPLE

This mealy disgrace, named after the boy in your third-grade class who always had dirt on his face, has the consistency of old snow wrapped in electrical tape. The only thing more difficult than getting past the off-putting name of “Jonathan” – a fine name for a boy with a lollipop but not for a fruit – is burrowing through the leathery deep-red skin shrouding its mushy innards. A quite handsome apple with exceptional juiciness, Jonathan once held so much promise, but this early 19th century heirloom is destined to be homeschooled as it is too sensitive (to both disease and bruising) to flourish in a normal setting. The best we can hope for from sweet, little Jonathan is a decent juice or cider, but in all likelihood this apple will slowly fade from our sight and memory only to be loved by its own mother.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

3/5

Red Apple Icon
3/5

TARTNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

INTENSITY

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5
JONATHAN BIO

PARENTAGE

 Esopus Spitzenburg

ORIGIN

Woodstock, NY or Ohio Wilds

YEAR

1796 or 1826

AVAILABILITY

Fall

BEST USES

Cider or Juice

OTHER NAMES

Ricks Apple

Melrose Apple Review

"The All-American Apple"

43
Horse Food
Melrose Apple

This WWII-era tank-fruit is a daunting behemoth that could easily smash in a Nazi’s skull if hurled at close range. Dense, thick-skinned, and great in an apple pie, this state apple of Ohio may be the most American apple on Earth. But don’t fill your victory garden with Melrose trees just yet. Like war, this apple is ugly, and despite a decently tart taste, the Melrose could never overcome its ungainly thick skin and gruesome appearance. Growers even tried to breed the ugliness out of the apple in the 1970s but like most American exploits in the 70s, failed miserably. So I say, salute The Greatest Generation by skinning this apple and baking it in a pie, but when it comes to your kitchen it’s best if the Melrose went AWOL.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

TARTNESS

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5

INTENSITY

2.5/5

Red Apple Icon
2.5/5
MELROSE APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Jonathan x Red Delicious

ORIGIN

Wooster, Ohio

YEAR

1944

AVAILABILITY

Late Fall – Winter

BEST USES

Baking, Apple Pie

Jonagold Apple Review

"A Forgettable College Friend"

57
Barely Worth It
Jonagold Apple

This bi-colored New York bred forget-me-fruit will vanish from your memory bank like the Ivy League School at which it was developed (Cornell University). A middling sweet-tart taste and ordinary crunch is double majored with granular apple meat and electrical tape skin. The Jonagold is a C-student which took advantage of its privileged upbringing by frequently studying abroad, particularly in Belgium where it accounts for nearly 70 percent of that nation’s apple production. But, make no mistake, no amount of international travel can make this blockable Facebook friend interesting enough to invite to your next dinner party.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

TARTNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

INTENSITY

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5
JONAGOLD APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Golden Delicious x Jonathan

ORIGIN

Cornell University, New York

YEAR

1953

AVAILABILITY

Fall

BEST USES

Desserts, Apple Cider

OTHER NAMES

Jonared, Decosta, Primo,

Rubinstar, Red Jonaprince