cortland

Kiku Apple Review

"A Fuji In Disguise"

42
Horse Food
Kiku Apple

Buyer beware! This exclusive Italian club apple is nothing more than a Fuji off-shoot rebranded as an undiscovered Pokemon. Known as a “sport” apple, the Kiku is a variant of its Fuji parent found growing on the same tree – only slightly redder and larger. But, make no mistake, this is not the evolutionary Blastoise to the Fuji’s Squirtle. In fact, a Kiku is nearly indistinguishable from a Fuji aside from its increased cost, decreased availability, and being named after a Japanese anime girl’s sneeze.

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

2/5

Red Apple Icon
2/5

TARTNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

INTENSITY

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5
KIKU APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

Fuji Sport

ORIGIN

Japan / Italy

YEAR

2010

AVAILABILITY

Late Winter – Spring

BEST USES

Applesauce

OTHER NAMES

Fuji

Cortland Apple Review

"A Damp Hacky Sack"

52
Barely Worth It
Cortland Apple

🏅 #8 RANKED SOUR APPLE |🏅 #9 RANKED CIDER APPLE

Aside from the striking white flesh and splash of tartness, there’s not much good that can be said about the damp hacky sack left outside a frat house all winter known as the Cortland Apple. Discovered in 1898, in the remarkably not Cortland city of Geneva, NY this flattened McIntosh sandbag of shit continues the age-old tradition of dragging the apple reputation of New York State into the sewer. A cold weather apple that can’t stay fresh for very long, the not-Geneva Apple loses its fledgling tartness, paltry sweetness, and illusory crispness too quickly to provide average consumers the opportunity to avoid eating slimy white dirt. And yet, the Cortland remains one of New York’s top produced apples, an enigma that further denigrates the shameful pedigree of The Big Crapple.

BONUS POINTS: +1 Cider Apple

Taste
Crispness
Skin
Flesh
Juiciness
Density
Beauty
Branding / Consistency
Cost/Availability

- FLAVOR PROFILE -

SWEETNESS

1/5

Red Apple Icon
1/5

TARTNESS

3/5

Red Apple Icon
3/5

INTENSITY

3/5

Red Apple Icon
3/5
CORTLAND APPLE BIO

PARENTAGE

McIntosh x Ben David

ORIGIN

Geneva, NY

YEAR

1898

AVAILABILITY

Late Fall – Spring

BEST USES

Sour Apple, Cooking, Cider

OTHER NAMES

LaMont, Starkspur, Redcort,

Early Geneva