Of all les pommes that e’er I’ve seen–
The ruby red, the yellow-green–
There is but one for which I’m keen;
The sweet SweeTango apple.

Were it a god, it would be Zeus;
A children’s author: Dr. Suess.
Indeed you would be most obtuse
To favor not SweeTango.

The trashy “fruit” called “Red Delicious”
Is gross enough to dub “pernicious”
I wouldn’t feed it to my fishes
…Or to my starving baby.

The McIntosh is fat and bland
The fruit from a pathetic strand
I feel sorry for the brand
Of eponymous computers.

And finally, Ms. Granny Smith
Is sour enough for cleaning with.
One bite will make you talk like thith.
Time to retire, Granny.

But I’ve made a short story long
For but one apple does no wrong–
–Inspires poetry, and song
Long reign the good SweeTango!