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Apple Rankings - You've been eating trash
  • Pick An Apple
    • Ambrosia Apple
    • Arkansas Black Apple
    • Aura Apple
    • Autumn Glory Apple
    • Blondee Apple
    • Braeburn Apple
    • Cameo Apple
    • Candy Crisp Apple
    • Cortland Apple
    • Cosmic Crisp Apple
    • Crimson Gold Apple
    • Cripps Pink Apple
    • Empire Apple
    • Envy Apple
    • EverCrisp Apple
    • Fuji Apple
    • Gala Apple
    • Golden Delicious Apple
    • Golden Russet Apple
    • GoldRush Apple
    • Granny Smith Apple
    • Green Dragon Apple
    • Honeycrisp Apple
    • Hunnyz Apple
    • Jazz Apple
    • Jonagold Apple
    • Jonathan Apple
    • Juici Apple
    • Kanzi Apple
    • Kiku Apple
    • King David Apple
    • Kissabel Rouge Apple
    • Koru (Plumac) Apple
    • Lady Alice Apple
    • Lemonade Apple
    • Lucy Glo Apple
    • Lucy Rose Apple
    • Ludacrisp Apple
    • Macoun Apple
    • McIntosh Apple
    • Melrose Apple
    • MiApple Apple
    • Modi Apple
    • Mutsu (Crispin) Apple
    • Newtown Pippin Apple
    • Opal Apple
    • Pazazz Apple
    • Pink Lady Apple
    • Pink Pearl Apple
    • Pinova (Piñata) Apple
    • Rave Apple
    • Red Delicious Apple
    • Rockit Apple
    • Rome Apple
    • Ruby Frost Apple
    • Ruby Jon Apple
    • Silken Apple
    • Smitten Apple
    • SnapDragon Apple
    • SnowSweet Apple
    • Stayman Winesap Apple
    • SugarBee Apple
    • Sundowner (Cripps Red) Apple
    • Sunrise Magic Apple
    • SweeTango Apple
    • Sweetie Apple
    • Sweet Orin Apple
    • Top Secret Apple
    • Wild Twist Apple
    • WineCrisp Apple
    • Wolf River Apple
    • Zestar! Apple
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THE OFFICIAL APPLE RANKINGS

This list is 100% accurate.

TOP APPLES

SweeTango Apples

"The Greatest of All Time"

95
Nearly Perfect

Honeycrisp Apples

"The Worldwide Favorite"

90
Superb

Pink Lady Apples

"A Fiery Troublemaker"

80
Worthy

Envy Apples

"Great Apple for Robust Chewers"

80
Worthy

MEDIOCRE APPLES

Ruby Frost Apples

"Thick-Skinned New York Fuckboi"

69
Barely Worth It

Lady Alice Apples

"A Perfectly Nice Lady"

56
Barely Worth It

PURE SHIT APPLES

Autumn Glory Apples

"The Glory Hole of Apples"

40
Horse Food

Red Delicious Apples

"Coffee Grinds in a Leather Glove"

25
Despicable

APPLE HELL

Red Delicious Apples

"Coffee Grinds in a Leather Glove"

25
Despicable
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Copyright © 2025 Apple Rankings by The Appleist Brian Frange | https://www.brianfrange.com