THE OFFICIAL APPLE RANKINGS

This list is 100% accurate.

TOP APPLES

SweeTango Apples

"The Greatest of All Time"

95
Nearly Perfect

Honeycrisp Apples

"The Worldwide Favorite"

90
Superb

Pink Lady Apples

"A Fiery Troublemaker"

80
Worthy

Envy Apples

"Great Apple for Robust Chewers"

80
Worthy

MEDIOCRE APPLES

Ruby Frost Apples

"Thick-Skinned New York Fuckboi"

69
Barely Worth It

Lady Alice Apples

"A Perfectly Nice Lady"

56
Barely Worth It

PURE SHIT APPLES

Autumn Glory Apples

"The Glory Hole of Apples"

40
Horse Food

Red Delicious Apples

"Coffee Grinds in a Leather Glove"

25
Despicable

APPLE HELL

Red Delicious Apples

"Coffee Grinds in a Leather Glove"

25
Despicable